In the ‘old days’ one would often hear the exclamation: ‘Patience is a Virtue’, most often when things were not going according to plan.  I suppose, if one listens, carefully, to what is going on, even today, these words of wisdom can still be heard – but I would suggest not quite so often as, perhaps, decades ago.  

I think modern society has lost some of that art of waiting for that something special.  It may be that, years ago, economic circumstances forced on many that need to wait, simply because, before hire purchase and today’s credit cards, people had to save up in order to buy the things they needed.  This often involved quite long periods of enforced waiting, coupled with that certain delicious expectancy of the ‘big’ day. 

Patience is very much ‘mixed up’ with the aspect of time.   I say this, because, the passage of time exerts a strong influence on our ability to bear waiting, in order to obtain that which is very much in our hearts.

To the young, especially the very young, time seems to pass so very slowly, so that waiting even a week – and a week is forever! – for that special event, strains every nerve that we have.  To those more mature in years, time passes relatively much more quickly, and so we learn to be patient and wait for that special thing – that special time.  Well, that’s the theory!  Unfortunately, the theory often proves to be untrue, and so one cannot say that patience is much more easily to be found in the elderly – not with any certainty! 

Thinking back, I can still hear my mother – from the kitchen – shouting: “God knows, but you would try the patience of Job.”  It may be that few of us know much about many people mentioned in the Old Testament; however, I think it is likely that a fairly high proportion would know something about the story of Job – that he was a just and holy man who loved God, and who was well-favoured in his life by God.  He was rich, with a lovely home and a loving family of seven sons and three daughters.  In fact, he wanted for nothing, and for all this he gave thanks to his Creator. 

Now it seems that God was persuaded by Satan that Job could be brought to the situation where he would begin to curse God, if God would only allow Job to be stripped of everything that he had.  And so it came to be that Job lost everything – house, money, family – and on top of all that, he was made to suffer extreme physical torment.  Yet, at every stage of his ‘downfall’, Job still refused to turn against God.

Job – in the midst of all his troubles

Job’s ‘Comforters’, his three ‘friends’, Bildad, Zophar and Eliphaz, visited him in his affliction; they suggested he was getting what he deserved, maintaining that his misfortunes were sent by God as punishments for sin. With friends like this, who needs enemies! Job would not accept their arguments; he ‘stuck to his guns’ that God is a loving God, with an absolute love for all of us – each one of us.  In the midst of all his suffering, Job refused to condemn, or to curse, God, whom he loved and feared. The result of all this was that Job was rewarded by God for his patience.  His wealth, his house and his family were restored to him.

It is my contention that all of us can learn something from all of this. All too often, these days, people of all ages are far too impatient.  In the material sense, we just cannot wait for the things we want.  This means that we are not prepared to save and wait for what we consider to be essential to maintain, or improve, our standard of life.  What we want, we must have – and have it now.  The consequence of this is that we go into debt in order to buy whatever it is.  But, more than this – much more – is that the whole country gets itself into a state where virtually everyone is in debt, to the tune of billions of dollars, euros, pounds, etc. – and all of it simply because of the perceived necessity to live beyond our means, and contrary to what I call the first law of household economics – and all because of answering to our ‘greeds’, rather than our ‘needs’. 

In quite another sense, we can become impatient with God, not wishing to keep to His time-scale, but, very much, wanting to impose our own.  Why is it that we are always in such a rush?  We say our prayers and ask God to help us in this way or that – and what happens when we don’t get an instant answer?  We then become frustrated and accuse God of not listening – of not caring – or, in the words of Job’s Comforters, of paying us back for our sins.  But, then, there are always those who do not have any patience with God, or belief in God – never mind belief in his infinite goodness and love.

Shakespeare, as was his wont, came up with a very wry definition of patience:

‘He that will have a cake out of the wheat must tarry the grinding.’

(Troilus and Cressida (Act I, scene I))

But, there is a very fine definition of patience by Bishop Horne (1730 – 1792), Dean of Canterbury and later, Bishop of Norwich: 

‘Patience is the guardian of faith, the preserver of peace, the cherisher of love, the teacher of humility; Patience governs the flesh, strengthens the spirit, sweetens the temper, stifles anger, extinguishes envy, subdues pride; she bridles the tongue, refrains the hand, tramples upon temptations, endures persecutions, consummates martyrdom; Patience produces unity in the church, loyalty in the State, harmony in families and societies; she comforts the poor and moderates the rich; she makes us humble in prosperity, cheerful in adversity, unmoved by calumny and reproach; she teaches us to forgive those who have injured us, and to be the first in asking forgiveness of those whom we have injured; she delights the faithful, and invites the unbelieving; she adorns the woman, and approves the man; is loved in a child, praised in a young man, admired in an old man; she is beautiful in either sex and every age.’

Bishop Horne, makes the ‘jump’ from an ordinary definition of Patience to one that very much involves the religious idea of forbearance.  Patience was always a strong theme in Judaism, where the Talmud extols the virtue, and in the Hebrew Torah, there are several references to patience in Proverbs:  ‘The patient man shows much good sense’, (Proverbs 14), and, ‘A patient man is better than a warrior, and he who rules his temper than he who takes a city.’ (Proverbs 16:32). 

In Christianity, patience is thought of as one of the most valuable virtues of a good life, and is increasingly viewed as the work of the Spirit of God. References to the virtue are legion throughout the New Testament. Though not one of the three traditional Theological Virtues, nor one of the Cardinal Virtues, nevertheless it is one of the Seven Virtues – opposites of the Seven Deadly Sins – alongside chastity, temperance, charity, diligence, kindness, and humility. 

At the time of writing, we are all waiting for the great feast of Christmas – a time of waiting and preparation we call Advent – and all of us, young and old, should use this time wisely.  It is a time given to us – each and every one – to prepare ourselves for the coming of God, as God-made-Man, born to us, to live among us, to teach us God’s way, to suffer and to die for us.  We celebrate Christmas as the start to this whole process.  It is right, therefore, to treat it as one of the year’s great feasts – but with patience in the ‘build up’ – not trying to ‘jump-the-gun’ – and all the while making proper arrangements for the coming of Christ’s Birthday.  That’s the way it was meant to be – not scurrying through Advent in total impatience for the big day to arrive; and, not in scurrying round the shops buying up everything in sight, ready for the ‘Big Day’, whilst, at the same time, losing sight of its real meaning. 

John Ruskin wrote a lovely passage on the theme of time and patience; in this, I think he was trying to show us God’s way, rather than ours: 

‘Not without design does God write the music of our lives. Be it ours to learn the time, and not be discouraged at the rests. If we say sadly to ourselves, “There is no music in a rest,” let us not forget “there is the making of music in it.” The making of music is often a slow and painful process in this life. How patiently God works to teach us! How long He waits for us to learn the lesson!’  

Socius

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