“It was not in my bow that I trusted nor yet was I saved by my sword:

It was you who saved us from our foes; it was you who put our foes to shame.

All day long our boast was in God and we praised your name without ceasing.”

(from Ps 43 or 44) 

As monks, we pray the psalms each day, and I discover that they are a reflection on my own experience of life. It has not been an ‘easy ride’ over the last 49 years of monastic life. However I wouldn’t have had it any other way, for I hope that in the crucible of life all of us begin to gain “wisdom of heart” as a psalm puts it. My “crucible” has been a monastic life with all that that implies. 

Mark you, I do wonder how many people today will learn without the ‘helps’ that certainly came my way, in my younger life. This has been borne home in my present reading of an account of a person whom I met in the late 1970’s, Igino Giordani, in a lovely place called Rocca di Papa (Rock of the Pope) in the beautiful Alban Hills outside Rome, This man, Igino Giordani, who died in 1980 at the age of 86, is in the process of being Beatified by the Church. My reading tells me how this friendly, loving, learned and cultured man was born into a poor family, his mother illiterate and filled with God’s love, his father a brick layer and also devoted to his God and his Church. Igino became a brilliant young student with a glittering career, that included almost losing his life in the Italian Army in the First World War, hiding from the Fascists in Italy when they were in power under Mussolini, author of over 100 books, and distinguished politician. Later, through circumstances, he came to have a huge influence in promoting unity and love for peoples of all faiths and cultures covering all spheres of life, and especially among families – giving a vision of holiness to ordinary men and women all over the world, young and old, and who happened not to be priests or monks or nuns. 

Continuing, my readings tell me that when Igino was a young boy, his every day background experience was one in which God, and the things of the Divine were part of the air he breathed. This makes me reflect on my younger life. It was similar and yet different. Our mother had an immense trust in God, and an appreciation of God’s Love and the importance of living out his teachings. She had learned this from her Church of England family, reinforced by her delight when she followed the logic of her ‘story’ and entered full communion with the Catholic Church. She was not a learned lady, but she knew God, loved Him and influenced us in knowing him through her life; she knew that her temperament, that included an excessive need to keep everything clean, tidy and in order was not the over-riding thing in life, and also she was quite “bossy”. Magnificently, Divine values shone through all this. My father was born a Catholic but, as a young boy in an Anglican boarding school, he and the minority of Catholic boys were teased, mercilessly, by the others. My father was quite stubborn, and this simply strengthened his Catholic faith that had been nurtured by his mother – an Italian Catholic, herself, and strong personality, whom my Father loved deeply. Like Igino, he too, wondered about “entering the Church” as a priest, and went to the Jesuits for six months. That vocation, as for Igino Giordani was not to be, but his love and devotion to God and the Church was, if anything, complimentary and stronger than that of our mother. He wrote beautiful religious poems, was a romantic at heart, and loved his children and grandchildren – even sometimes without understanding us. He had a quite different temperament to our mother, and at times, it was not easy for them to “gel” together. What kept them united was that both felt themselves complete and fulfilled within God’s love – and this love was over-riding. 

Our home was a place of the Divine: we had family prayer; we had religious pictures in every room, many crucifixes in the house, tastefully portrayed; we were sent off to be altar servers, getting up early on week-days for that ‘duty’. Our education was with nuns at an early age, and later in Catholic schools where these essential values continued, in the case of my two brothers and myself in the monastic school at Ampleforth, where again the Divine was the background atmosphere we lived and breathed. My sister attended convent school and that experience, like we three boys at Ampleforth, coloured her life deeply – in a positive way – as, of course, Ampleforth did for me, as here, today,  I remain a contented member of that monastic community. 

However, in all this, please do not think  that to “gain wisdom of heart” has been easy. The world and all its ‘values’ are not in harmony with the things of God, and for me, at least, there have been many struggles – and this against all the advantages of the background I have painted! It makes me consider how much harder it must be for people – especially the young – without the advantage of such a background. 

Like my mother and father, I have learned to be trusting in God and the future of things, even when they can seem bleak. Significantly, the words of the psalm have been those of my own experience. 

“It was not in my bow that I trusted nor yet was I saved by my sword:

It was you who saved us from our foes; it was you who put our foes to shame.

All day long our boast was in God and we praised your name without ceasing.” 

Discerning signs of “a culture of support” –  support that I enjoyed, and support for the people of today, it is good to associate with those few around us who know God, who love him and who trust in Him. The verses of the psalm are enlightening. They imply that a person needs help, for it is no good to try and save oneself. There is no ‘mileage’ in trusting in MY bow or MY sword, i.e. MY resources. They are not good enough. God can directly intervene in life, but God usually intervenes with the help of others. This is emphasised by the psalm when it says: “WE praised your name without ceasing.”  No one needs to be on their own. 

In our world, there is no doubt of our interdependence, locally, nationally and internationally, across many different spheres, and on many different levels – an interdependence controlling our very existence. If the Arabs were to cut off our oil, we would be helpless: if international terrorists were to continue to succeed in their evil deeds our world would become paralysed: if global warming were to completely take over, all of us will become seriously affected.  The list could go on … and on …  and on … 

Let me end by some examples of love (which is the implication of this short page) –  examples that come from children: What Love means to a 4-8 years old …. 

A group of professional people posed this question to a group of 4 to 8 year-olds, ‘What does love mean?’   Some of the replies are given below … … 

‘When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn’t bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That’s love. (Rebecca – aged 8) 

‘When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You just know that your name is safe in their mouth.’ (Billy – aged 4) 

‘Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your chips without making them give you any of theirs. (Chrissy – aged 6) 

‘Love is what makes you smile when you’re tired.’ (Terri – aged 4) 

‘Love is when my mummy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK.’ (Danny – aged 7) 

‘Love is what’s in the room with you at Christmas if you stop opening presents and listen.’ (Bobby – aged 7) 

‘If you want to learn to love better, you should start with a friend who you hate,’ (Nikka – aged 6) 

‘Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday.’ (Noelle – aged 7) 

‘Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still friends even after they know each other so well.’ (Tommy – aged 6) 

‘During my piano recital, I was on a stage and I was scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn’t scared anymore.’ (Cindy – aged 8) 

‘My mummy loves me more than anybody. You don’t see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night.’ (Clare – aged 6) 

‘Love is when Mommy gives Daddy the best piece of chicken.’ (Elaine – aged 5) 

‘Love is when Mommy sees Daddy, smelly and sweaty, and still says he is handsomer than Robert Redford. (Chris – aged 7) 

And the last one, from a four years old child, whose next door neighbour was an elderly gentleman who had recently lost his wife. Upon seeing the man cry, the little boy knocked on his neighbour’s door, climbed onto his lap, and just sat there. When his Mother asked what he had said, the little boy said, ‘Nothing, I just helped him cry’. 

When there is nothing left but God, that is when you find out that God is all you need, then you might pause for 60 seconds, put your trust in Him and perhaps say this prayer: 

“Dear God, please bless me and all my friends, in whatever it is that You know

we may be needing this day! And may our lives be full of Your peace, love and power,

as we seek to have a closer relationship with You. Amen.”